Friday 27 March 2015

Soul searching and why we chose life xx

Hi all well it is Thursday evening and there is a Autumn chill in the air we had to light up the fireplace I'm in a another room where my computer is and all my craft gear (my office). Today has been one of those days when I just want to cry I was okay this morning until I started soul searching as I some times do about my life and all that has happened I've been going to do a post on how to 'search your soul' for that is where my journey with the angels started not that long ago last year I found out a lot about myself and others connected to my soul it started with a book ("Saved by an Angel" by Doreen Virtue)  that was a suggestion in an email on the day Phillip would of turned 21 I did blog about it here as I was soul searching and asking lots of questions which I was always led to the answers for our Angels, guides and spirit love to feed our curiousity of their side of the veil as it is called by Kryon who I discovered on my quest to learn about souls and where we go when we die for when I lost Phillip I knew about psychics and sensed when my son was around by the clock so I just delved further into our souls and mine working out the times the I was saved by Angels it has been many some I don't remember. Our Angels and guides live within us but it is up to us to awaken them and to invite them into our life to help with our journey that is our freewill god granted us but God is also within us as we are his creation, so we are a part of the whole of creation we aren't separate from God or each other for we are all connected by the same life forces that is our soul.. Each soul is different and each soul has it's own lessons and karmic debt from other life times which we came to even up the energy with our life lessons so we all have different energy and different paths we need to take but we are all the same really emotionally it is only our thoughts and beliefs that set us apart..

SOUL SEARCHING
To go inside yourself all you do is look at all the emotional turmoils and the events you have had in this life time and see what lessons you learnt from those times for they were for your soul growth and karmic energy that needed to be evened out which was to teach your soul something else so you wouldn't repeat the same pattern. If  you had a lot of work to do in this incarnation you might have a lot of different jobs or past relationships for everyone comes into teach our soul lessons that we wanted them to come in and help us with only you will know about those if you search your own soul now or when we return to spirit we get to review every thought, action and reaction we had for it is all recorded in our Akashic record that we have carried over in every life time.. When I started searching my soul I started off with "Who am I" so why did I have certain character traits my main one why was I so shy I now know why it was for my own protection but also because that is what my soul chose to do this life time because I had a bigger purpose which I am still discovering but I also have an inner knowing what it is, but still have to take it day by day as I don't know my future or my destiny only my dreams that I have put in and I trust they will come to me, as they always have in divine time. I also looked back on every major event in my life or how I came to meet the people I have in my life but also I have been reading a lot on our souls and other books I have been guided to when I had questions which triggered other memories within me and a lot of new emotions since I shut down my heart because of the grief of losing Phillip, something opened it again an intense love I've never felt before so I invited the divine and angels into my life but this has all been in timing with the new energy shift that all humans are experience but lightworkers (or those that are spiritually aware and here to help others) and those more sensitive will be feeling the energy shifts for they started a while ago so it stirs up your emotions, may make you tired, feeling drained and even waking you up early hours of the mornings or keeping you awake especially if you have a lot running through your mind like bringing up things in your past that you still hold emotions over even things from your past life that you may not even know about, your dreams might be bringing in these past life events so you can deal with your souls emotions.. So my emotions and tears have been all over the place so having up's and down and a lot of tears shed some from others energy, sometimes over my own negativity and other stuff that is being dragged up out of my soul most the time I have no idea or things will just set me off with the tears flowing I have been feeling like this from yesterday in the morning when I was thinking about my own journey and how I feel so alone sometimes mainly because I am independent and don't let others in on what I'm feeling so haven't let many people get that close to me so I feel I have pretty much walked alone as I think independently as well so others probably don't really understand me, they don't even try most the time as I'm generally ignored or was most the time, maybe having a soft voice contributed to that... My soul only required love, support and security in this world and that is what I have got with my family around, the rest of the journey is up to me so I put my trust in God to bring me what else I need for I have found it only can't reach it just yet.
So to sum it up to go soul searching look at..
Who you are?
Where you've been?
Who has been in your life?
How did any relationships end?
Do you have any remaining emotions attached to that ending?
Would you do anything differently?
What have you learnt from any experiences?
Any other question you have of yourself such as character traits and why you think you are like that?
The further you delve into your soul the more you will understand who you are and where it is you are heading for our soul does know what it came to learn and why you have certain traits, ask your angels or guides for they will point you to where it is you will find the answers but most of them lie within you for you are a lot wiser and know a lot more then your human self.
A song break love this song.

James Bay - Hold back the River
So on Tuesday I was doing some soul searching at work and thanking the angels for always being around me and pulling me up when I was feeling down and I have many times when growing up, and lots after I lost Phillip as I so desperately wanted to join him as the pain was that great all grieving parents feel the same what stopped me was love, love of my family and not wanting to put my mum through that same pain I was feeling at the time, love of my kids and not wanting them to find me and not having anyone there to watch them grow and make sure they were looked after in everyway with a mothers love although looking back I know I wasn't there completely because I had closed my heart to feeling anything else so went into auto pilot and just got up and done what I had to, to make sure everyone was looked after meanwhile hiding my own pain I tucked that neatly away where I didn't have to deal with it for I cried until I could cry no more at the time for how many years I don't know for looking back I can't remember some of the things the kids done growing up, so when it comes to telling stories of what the kids said and done I come up with blanks maybe because that was how I was feeling so nothing stuck in my memory.. So looking back I should of been there fully for my kids as they were probably feeling the pain of losing a brother as well but I just couldn't,  I think I may of been pushing all feelings away from everyone just so I would never have to feel pain again I did eventually pull myself out of it but not until my heart opened could I do that fully and release all that pain. Anyway just after thanking the Angels when I finished work and hoped in my car it was 11:11 so I knew the angels were around me and others I had been thinking about.. The message that came out at work I put onto Facebook through my phone as it came and added a bit more when I got home for lunch.. I should also mention other times in my life I have also wanted to go home so I didn't think I could cope with life and the changes in it but then things would just happen to convince me to stay so I had a reason to stick around I never had depression or anything like that just an urge to go home but most the time things have just fallen in my lap at the right time so I do know I have been looked after with some effort from me but not much.
WHY WE CHOSE LIFE
We don't come to earth to change other souls we chose life to change our own soul on the path of life that is our journey we all have our own soul lessons some good some very emotional, soul growth comes through the most painful lessons that change who we are and our outlook on life in general. When you learn one lesson you move onto the next, if you don't learn the lesson the first time your soul will continue with that lesson until your soul growth has... taken place that won't be until you surrender to the emotions and let them out to the universe if you keep holding onto the old emotions they will only drag your soul down letting your ego have the power over you so you can't see your self worth and the love and light within. Lesson - Let go and let god have that which doesn't serve your higher good so your journey in life is a lot smoother always search for the light within for it is your power. **Other souls are on our journey by our choice as we asked them in spirit to be there and to act a certain way into helping with our soul growth so everyone that has entered your life at some point was asked by you out of love to help your soul grow and to help you balance your karmic debt that your own soul decided it needed in order to learn the lessons it came here for, but while we are on the earth plain we are given freewill and choices in how we react to those lessons and if our soul is where it wants to be, our soul talk comes through dreams, ideas and thoughts so when you look within and quiet your mind of all the daily clutter your soul will reveal what it wants to learn next or where it is you need to go in life.. The soul always knows what you had pre-planned as your lessons it is only a matter of quieting your mind enough to hear your inner voice and guidance as long as negativity and your ego has the power your soul will be taken on detours to get you to your predestined plan, that is why it is essential to keep your ego in line and to only use it to weigh up the pros and con's of all the choices you make. Nothing is ever a mistake, accident or coincidence everyone and every choice you make was meant to be to help with that soul growth and the evolution of mankind itself**.. Keep smiling because you are loved and not alone through this journey of life the angels and spirit have your back and will envelope you in the energy of love for mankind and humanity. love and light xx
Today I went and had my haircut and brought a few presents for myself I'm watching the movie now my son Sammy is in the room and is asking me how can you type and watch a movie at the same time Heaven is for Real the son is just in the hospital now and the dad is praying not to take his son I done that when Phillip went into hospital when he was limp and lifeless as a 20 day old because he had a hernia blocking off his bowel so was rushed to Melbourne hospital I remember praying to God not to take my son from me yet at least let him go to school and learn to write his name and that is all the time he had but reading the books I have I believe it was pre-planned that way for when our soul comes in we can chose to die within a certain age range after we learn our lessons or to come in and help others to reach spiritual awareness in theirs which I feel Phillip done for me because on a few occasions I have talked to him through my Medium ship cards and he said he was with our pets and out the bush where the accident happened we put one of our deceased dogs after it got attacked by a neighbours hunting dog of some description, he also said he was my guide  which  I believe as well because of the little hints and messages he left me before and after his death and through dreams and just little things he said and the fact my 2 year old seen his spirit floating above his coffin when we went to view him before his funeral, I did hear footsteps run up the hall way one night but when I checked on the other 2 kids they were both sound asleep tucked up in bed. Then the clock only rocking on special occasions which I blogged about it has now stopped again not sure why.
Here is what I brought a book and a movie.
 
I've just drawn a card for tonight and guidance for anyone that needs it for the message will always hit the one it is meant for, it could be for anyone that reads my blog they will know and have their own messages so watch for your own thoughts and feelings as you read my post..
Archangel Raziel wants you to "TAKE BACK YOUR POWER" we all have our own power it is held within us as God created us to live in our own power we do this by setting our intentions and knowing when to let go and release emotions that no longer serve us and being able to walk away from situations that we know are dragging us down as they sap all our energy that is when our ego comes in and we start doubting ourselves  and why we are here at all, we lose focus of our true path because we become trapped by our own negativity but it could also be negativity from others that have been judging us or our actions towards others. By getting our power back we can walk away and have the strength and courage to keep on walking because it doesn't matter what others think of us all that matters in the end is what we think of our self and being able to live with our own truth.. If you aren't happy with your truth change it for we as souls are always in charge of our own destiny by our very own choices we don't have to chose to live in a negative energy, we can rise above that and start living in the positive and knowing you can get past any hurdles and pain in our life, because we have done it many times. Our soul is always in charge of how we want to feel when others are coming at us, we can chose to ignore others and listen to our own truth or we can listen to others and let them have our power along with our ego who loves to see us down in the dumps and playing things over in our mind about how bad, or stupid we think we have been to let others walk all over us.. Things don't have to be like that for you have the power to change your feeling and when you find that power no one will ever again make you feel small or used  because you won't let them for you can walk away when you know it is not in your best interest. You also have the power to manifest into your life the things you want, desire or need by simply living your truth and asking for heaven's help to bring to you what you need to help you on your journey for everything will come to you if you stay focused on what it is you need, if you need more money or job security you start by asking and staying positive that all the things you need will come to you in divine time so you always have to believe you are worthy of these things and know that what you think will be the outcome you were hoping for.. If you picture your success already and see your self where you want to be and take things one step at time and stay positive by law of attraction and the energy you are putting into what you want will just come to you when spirit sees you are ready it will just fall in your lap so it could be instant or it could take more time depending on what your intentions are and if it involves other people for with divine time everyone needs to be in sync so things just fall into place.. On the card "Use your God given power and intention to manifest blessings in your life." Call on Archangel Raziel to help you find your power and courage to do what you have to do to bring you some inner peace to regain your power ... love and light xx
 Knowing your own soul is giving you power for you know yourself that well you won't accept or expect things from others so they can't take from you what you are not willing to give.. You will be less of a doormat for you will know your limits and not let anybody hurt you for you can love without conditions and not expect anything in return. So start your soul searching and find out "Who am I?".. It will be worth it and you will discover others on your journey as I have.
 
An awesome song that was just on the movie sound track of Heaven is for real
Compass by Rascal Flatts..
Sending love and light
Sorry if I said anything to upset
you for my heart is breaking too.
I wish I could  help you
and take your troubles away
the only solution I can find is to
invite the angels into your
life for they help me so
much with mine
 and they led me to you
for a special purpose only you
can find that within it is okay
to feel sad, mad or angry
just know if you were to release
them, all will be okay for
you will be free as no one
will hold their power over you
by clinging onto old emotions.
The only thing I feel is love and compassion
for all you have been through for
you don't deserve any of that when
your only intention is love but you
deserve to have that love returned for
just being the awesome person you
are for I see the god within you that
others may not know for I know
that soul for it is the same god that
is within me.. missing you..
 so I'll go to bed and shed a tear
and hope you will be okay
so sending my prayers and the angels
with their healing divine love
are doing the work for me.
love always
xxx


 
 


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Michelle Two, hope you are okay after those nasty comments on MSN. Just letting you know I'm thinking off you.
Ted H.